Teddy Pig

Yes Kevin These Are For Real

Lysol Really Works!

Oh this ones good today... hey what about Rummy???

Huh, Mr. President... The House Majority Leader would like to kick your ass.

"Not to get personal about it, but George W. Bush's capacity to lead has never been there. In order to lead, you have to have judgment. In order to have judgment, you have to have knowledge and experience. He has none,''
-Nancy Pelosi United State's first woman Speaker of the United States House of Representatives
May 20, 2004

You Gotta Be Shittin Me!

The best Amazon.com book review page ever! I love British humor and then add in that it's reviews of The Bible... Oh yeah!

From The Author

Please read my book, but don't take it too literally - some of my co-authors were a little too zealous and I'm not sure it all came out right in translation. If you want the short version, here it is: Be nice to each other, would you? It was a hellish job creating the world and all that, and I'd be most pleased if you didn't all mess it up. As you were. Love, God.

Disgusting Piece of Fantasy Trash

I was recommended this book by a friend of mine (Who told me it would help me find someone that she had been looking for?), and imagine my surprise when I found a copy that someone had left behind in my hotel room!

The book, lengthy and difficult to read, is set in a fantasy world where 'God' creates his own world and then proceeds to bully all his creations, apart from his favorite ones. He has a huge temper and kills almost everyone quite a few times - especially gay people and those of different religions to his.

The first chapter makes absolutely no sense whatsoever (How did he make all that stuff before turning the lights on?), and quickly dissolves into an obscene tirade of homophobia, rape, racial stereo-typing, mass murder, anti-abortion, ethnic cleansing, sadomasochistic, genocidal filth.

Considering the fact that the central character, God, wrote this trash, it comes as a shock to find that he depicts himself as a bully, a murderer and an egotistical maniac, with a singular egocentric philosophy along the lines of 'Bow down before me, or die'.

The first third of the book concerns a lot of drug taking ("I give you all the seed-bearing plants on this earth"), intertwined with some lurid trips (burning pillars of salt?) and some heavy sex and rape scenes. The world almost ends a couple of times, and a few plagues threaten to wipe out the entire globe just because one person said the wrong thing to God.

About half way through the book God has a son around Christmas time (Though this part wasn't explained very well.) by having sex with a girl named Mary (Who is actually married, but the husband doesn't seem to mind.). This son is such a dickhead that he only has 12 friends, and by the end of his short life he gets tortured to death.

The penultimate chapter is all about the coming of the end of the world. You get the feeling that the author has just seen that Ben Affleck movie about that meteor one or two many times. There's even a controversial take on the 9/11 conspiracy talking about "pillars of fire falling from the sky".

Surprisingly there isn't really an ending to speak of - leaving the reader somewhat confused and disappointed. (That is, if you ever get to the end.). In fact, this book is so confusing there are global wars going on right now simply because people don't have a clue what it means. Overall this book does for literature what straight-to-video releases did to cinema.